What to Do When Foster Children Struggle at School

Building the Right Support Team

Challenging behaviour doesn't switch on when your foster child walks through your front door, and it doesn't switch off when they leave for school. The reality is that the struggles you see at home often mirror what's happening in the classroom, playground, or during after-school activities. That's why building strong partnerships with your child's school and wider support team is essential.

As a foster carer, you're often the bridge between your child's past trauma and their future potential. This means you'll find yourself educating professionals, advocating for appropriate support, and sometimes being the only person who truly understands what your foster child needs to succeed.

How to Get School Support for Foster Children with Challenging Behaviour

Accessing Pupil Premium Plus Funding for Behavioural Support

If you're caring for a looked-after child, you have access to additional funding specifically designed to support their educational needs. Pupil Premium Plus (PP+) provides extra per year for looked-after children that could be making a real difference to your child's school experience.

Here's what you need to know:

Your local Virtual School Head manages PP+ funding and works with schools to ensure it's used effectively. And it’s for more than just academic tutoring, as it can support exactly the kind of challenges you're dealing with at home.

Ask these key questions at your next Personal Education Plan (PEP) meeting:

• How is PP+ being used to support emotional regulation in school?
• Can funding help with difficult transitions between lessons or activities?
• Is there budget for additional one-to-one support during challenging times?
• Could PP+ fund specific interventions like sensory breaks or therapeutic support?
• Are there plans to use PP+ for specialist training for staff working with your child?

Examples of effective PP+ use:

• Funding for a teaching assistant trained in trauma-informed approaches
• Sensory equipment like weighted lap pads or fidget tools
• Additional art therapy or music therapy sessions
• Breakfast club places to ensure your child starts the day feeling settled
• Transport support to reduce morning stress
• Specialist assessment for underlying learning difficulties

Don't assume the school is using this funding in the most helpful way for your child. You know your foster child best, so speak up about what might help them succeed.

Implementing Trauma-Informed Approaches for Foster Children at School

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommends that schools adopt behaviour policies that understand trauma and attachment difficulties. Unfortunately, not all schools have caught up with this guidance, and you may find yourself educating educators about the realities of trauma.

You can be an advocate for trauma-informed practice by:

• Sharing what works at home. If you've discovered that your foster child responds well to warnings before transitions, needs a safe space when overwhelmed, or requires specific language when being corrected, share this with their teacher. The SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) and designated teacher for looked-after children should be particularly interested in these insights.
• Explaining the 'why' behind behaviours. Help school staff understand that when your foster child becomes aggressive during group work, they might be triggered by feeling trapped or unsafe. When they refuse to participate in PE, it might be because changing clothes makes them feel vulnerable.
• Asking about behaviour policies. Find out how the school handles challenging behaviour. Do they use exclusions and sanctions, or do they try to understand what's driving the behaviour? You have the right to request that trauma and attachment needs are considered in any behaviour plans.
• Requesting consistency. If your child has a specific way of being supported that works, ask if this approach can be shared with all their teachers. Consistency between home and school can make a huge difference.

Understanding Trauma-Related Behaviour in School Settings

Foster children's behaviours often intensify in school environments because schools can trigger many trauma responses. Understanding these patterns helps you work more effectively with education staff.

Common School Triggers That Cause Challenging Behaviour in Foster Children

Many behaviours that seem random or defiant actually have clear triggers rooted in your foster child's past experiences. By understanding these common school triggers, you can help teachers recognise the difference between typical childhood misbehaviour and trauma responses. Share this information with school staff so they can adapt their approach and environment to reduce unnecessary stress for your child.

• Noise and crowds: Busy playgrounds, noisy dinner halls, and crowded corridors can overwhelm children who've experienced chaos or violence.
• Authority figures: Teachers giving instructions might trigger memories of adults who weren't safe. Your foster child might become defiant or shut down completely.
• Competition and comparison: Academic pressure or sports competitions can trigger shame in children who've been told they're "worthless" or "stupid."
• Physical contact: Accidental bumps in corridors or playground games might trigger fight-or-flight responses in children who've experienced physical abuse.
• Transitions: Moving between lessons, teachers, or activities can feel chaotic and unsafe for children who need predictability.

Dealing with Specific Challenging Behaviours: Strategies for School Staff

When challenging behaviour does occur, the school's response can either escalate the situation or help your foster child learn better coping strategies. These are the conversations you need to have with teachers about how to respond effectively. Traditional behaviour management techniques often backfire with traumatised children, as they need connection before correction.

• When your foster child becomes aggressive: Help staff understand this might be their way of creating safety when they feel threatened. Rather than punishment, they need de-escalation techniques and safe spaces to regulate.
• When they shut down or become withdrawn: This freeze response often gets overlooked because it doesn't disrupt the classroom. But a child who's emotionally shut down isn't learning. They need gentle encouragement and emotional support.
• When they seem to "attention seek": Children from chaotic backgrounds often learned that negative attention was better than no attention. Help staff see that underneath attention-seeking behaviour is usually a child desperately trying to feel noticed and valued.
• When they struggle with friendships: Social skills often develop differently in children who've experienced disrupted attachments. They might be too clingy, too aggressive, or completely withdraw from peers. This needs teaching, not punishing.

Managing Challenging Behaviour Through Multi-Agency Support

Building an Effective Team Around the Child for Behavioural Support

Foster children often have several professionals involved in their care, including social workers, therapists, educational psychologists, mental health workers, and others. While this level of support can be incredibly valuable, it can also become fragmented if everyone isn't talking to each other.

Team Around the Child (TAC) meetings bring together all the key people supporting your foster child. These might also be called Early Help meetings, multi-agency meetings, or Child in Need meetings. The goal is simple: get everyone on the same page.

How to make these meetings work for you:

• Come prepared. Make notes about what you're seeing at home for when challenging behaviour happens, what seems to trigger it, and what helps. Your day-to-day insights are invaluable.
• Ask for joined-up planning. If the therapist is working on anger management and the school is focusing on social skills, how do these approaches complement each other? Everyone should be working toward the same goals.
• Request regular check-ins. Don't wait for crisis meetings. Regular reviews mean you can adjust approaches before small problems become big ones.
• Be honest about what's not working. If strategies aren't helping, or if they're making things worse, speak up. The team needs to know so they can adapt their approach.

Accessing UK Support Services for Foster Children's Behavioural Needs

You don't have to navigate your foster child's behavioural challenges alone. The UK has specialist services designed specifically to support looked-after children, but you often need to know they exist and actively request them. As a foster carer, you have the right to access these services directly and advocate for your child's needs.

• Educational Psychology Services: Your local authority's educational psychology team can assess your foster child's needs and recommend specific interventions. Don't wait for the school to make this referral; you can request it yourself.
• Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS): If your foster child needs specialist mental health support, CAMHS can provide therapy, assessment, and treatment. Be prepared for waiting lists, but don't let this put you off making referrals early.
• Looked After Children's Nurse: Many areas have specialist nurses who understand the health needs of looked-after children. They can be invaluable in coordinating medical and mental health support.
• Virtual School: Your local virtual school doesn't just manage PP+ funding—they can provide advice, support, and advocacy for your foster child's education. They should be your first port of call for school-related concerns.

How to Advocate for Foster Children with Challenging Behaviour at School

Building Effective Communication with School Staff

Strong communication with school staff is the foundation of getting effective support for your foster child. Without good relationships and clear channels of communication, even the best intentions can fall flat. The key is being proactive rather than reactive by establishing these connections before you need them, so when challenging situations arise, you already have trusted people to work with.

• Connect with key school staff. Make sure you have direct contact details for your child's class teacher, head teacher, SENCO, and the designated teacher for looked-after children. 
• Share your child's story appropriately. Key staff need to understand your foster child's background and triggers, but you don't need to share everything with everyone. Work out who needs what information to support your child effectively.
• Create a communication system. Whether it's a daily diary, weekly phone calls, or regular emails, establish how you and the school will keep each other updated.
• Attend every PEP meeting. These meetings are your opportunity to review progress, raise concerns, and influence how PP+ funding is used. Your voice matters, and you have legal rights to be involved in these decisions.

Effective Advocacy Strategies for Foster Carers

Sometimes being polite and hopeful isn't enough. You need to advocate firmly for your foster child's needs. This doesn't mean being aggressive, but it does mean being persistent, informed, and strategic. Many foster carers feel uncomfortable pushing back against professionals, but remember that you're the expert on your child's daily reality and you have legal rights to ensure they receive appropriate support.

• Know your rights. Looked-after children have specific rights in education, including priority for school admissions and additional support through PP+. Don't be afraid to reference these rights when advocating for your child.
• Build relationships, not just processes. Get to know the people working with your child. When everyone understands each other and shares the same goals, collaboration becomes much easier.
• Document everything. Keep records of conversations, meetings, and incidents. If you need to escalate concerns or access additional support, having clear records helps your case.
• Use the language of education. Learn terms like "adverse childhood experiences," "attachment difficulties," and "trauma-informed practice." Using professional language helps you be taken seriously.

Dealing with School Exclusions and Challenging Behaviour Incidents

What to Do If Your Foster Child Faces Exclusion for Challenging Behaviour

School exclusions can feel like a crisis, but they don't have to be the end of your foster child's educational journey. Many foster children face exclusions at some point, often because schools don't understand trauma-related behaviour. The key is knowing your rights and acting quickly to ensure your child's needs are properly considered in any disciplinary decisions.

• Understand the process. Schools must follow specific procedures for exclusions, including providing work and informing the local authority. Make sure these procedures are being followed correctly.
• Request a meeting. You have the right to make representations about any exclusion. Use this meeting to explain your child's needs and advocate for alternative approaches.
• Involve your virtual school. They can provide advocacy and support, and may be able to negotiate with the school on your behalf.
• Consider whether discrimination has occurred. Excluding a child because of behaviour directly related to their disability (including trauma-related needs) may constitute discrimination under the Equality Act 2010.

When School Relationships Break Down: Finding Alternative Solutions

Sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, a school placement doesn't work. This doesn't mean you've failed. It just means the school wasn't the right fit for your child's needs. Recognising when to cut your losses and find a better match can actually be the most caring thing you can do. A fresh start with proper preparation and the right support can transform your foster child's educational experience.

• Document concerns clearly. Keep records of what you've tried, what support you've requested, and how the school has responded.
• Access independent advice. Organisations like IPSEA (Independent Parental Special Educational Advice) can provide free guidance on education law and your rights.
• Consider a managed move. Sometimes, a fresh start at a new school with proper preparation and support can be more successful than continuing to struggle in an unsuitable placement.

Creating Long-Term Success for Foster Children with Challenging Behaviour

Building these partnerships takes time and patience. You might encounter school staff who don't understand trauma, professionals who work in silos, or systems that seem more focused on processes than people. You may find yourself explaining basic concepts about trauma and attachment to qualified teachers, or fighting for support that should be automatically available.

Don't give up. Your foster child needs advocates who understand that challenging behaviour is communication, that trauma affects learning, and that small children can't be expected to regulate emotions they've never been taught to manage. Sometimes, you'll be the person who has to educate the educators and coordinate the coordinators.

You're not asking for special treatment. You're asking for appropriate support for a child who has experienced things that most adults couldn't handle. 

Your Voice Matters: Building the Support Your Foster Child Deserves

As a foster carer, you see things others miss. You notice the subtle signs that your child is struggling, you understand their triggers, and you celebrate the small victories that might seem insignificant to outsiders. This insight makes you their most powerful advocate.

Building effective school partnerships isn't always easy. You'll encounter professionals who don't quite understand trauma, systems that seem slow to change, and moments when you feel like you're fighting the same battles repeatedly. But every conversation you have, every meeting you attend, and every time you speak up for your child's needs, you're building a network of understanding that can transform their experience.

Your foster child didn't choose their trauma, but they've been lucky enough to have you choose them. You're teaching them that they're worth fighting for, that adults can be trusted to advocate for their needs, and that their voice matters. Bridging the gap between home and school, translating your child's needs for professionals, and refusing to give up when others might is the work that changes lives. It's not always recognised or celebrated, but it's absolutely vital.

We see the dedication you bring to fostering every day. We know that supporting your foster child at school is just one part of the complex, rewarding, and sometimes exhausting work you do. When foster carers like you refuse to accept "that's just how things are," real change happens.

Your foster child's future is brighter because you're willing to have those difficult conversations, attend those meetings, and keep advocating even when it feels thankless. That's the difference you make—not just in managing their behaviour, but in showing them that someone believes they deserve better.

Keep going. Your voice matters, your advocacy works, and your foster child is lucky to have you in their corner. And if you need more support, we’re only ever a phone call away.